Dialogue tags serve a purpose. They help the reader recognize when you’ve changed speakers. Often, when you only have two speakers, if you punctuate correctly dialogue tags can be eliminated, yet this is impossible when you have three or more characters in a scene.
Let’s look at a scene that’s heavy in dialogue and use it to learn what you need to look for as you polish your writing.
[div class=’content-2-col-left’]Original
“There you two are!†Joanne exclaimed.
“We thought we’d get an early start, didn’t we, Kerry?” Joe said, winking at Kerry.
“It’s chilly isn’t it?” Kerry added, while hugging her arms to her chest.
“Nothing like a winter morning to wake you,” Joanne said, pulling her toque over her ears. “Are you ready?”[/div]
[div class=’content-2-col-right’]Revision
“There you two are!†Joanne said.
“We thought we’d get an early start, didn’t we, Kerry?” Joe winked at the petite woman beside him.
She shrugged, hugging her arms to her chest. “It’s chilly isn’t it.”
“Nothing like a winter morning to wake you.” Joanne pulled her toque over her ears. “Are you ready?”[/div]
[div class=’clear-cols’] [/div]
The first thing you want to remove are ‘who said’ words which describe the inflection or action of the speaker. If the character exclaimed, use an exclamation mark, and use said. The only exception I make is when a character has asked a question. I prefer asked over said
The second thing you want to do is remove as many ‘saids’ and ‘askeds’ as possible. One of the simplest ways to remove unwanted ‘saids’ is to eliminate ‘ing’ verb endings, which many writers tack on. Instead of writing, ‘Joe said, winking at Kerry,’ write ‘Joe winked at Kerry.’ The action makes it clear who spoke, and it propels your story forward.
Check for opportunities to replace dialogue tags with action. Move your characters through space. Show them interacting with each other as they speak. Share their facial expressions.
When there is a pause in the action, ‘said’ may be the best way to make it clear who is speaking, It’s okay to use ‘said’ occasionally, yet minimal use encourages stronger characterization.
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Other Polish Your Writing blogs
The following links take you to articles on the other tips for polishing your writing. Note: It the link isn’t active, I haven’t written the post yet.
Polish Your Writing – Use a First Line Hook
Tighten Descriptions.
Choose Chapter Endings Strategically.
Cut the Fluff.
Identify and Replace Overused Words.
Clean up First Person and Third Person Pronouns.
Check Verb Tense Consistency.
Edit by the line.
